3rd paper rough draft

 

           

            We live in a high-tech world. People today use technology for almost everything. Your alarm clock wakes you up; you start a pot of Keurig coffee and turn on the T.V.  Those are just 3 easy everyday tasks someone may normally do that currently, we more than not rely on technology for those simple life tasks. People also use technology to keep up with the news, to keep in communication with others, for educational purposes, to schedule their day accordingly, and the list just keeps on going. There is a problem though- we use mass amounts of technology in our everyday lives, which we are now starting to become too dependent on technology to live and manage our everyday lives it is starting to affect our overall health. According to Nielsen’s Total Audience Report, “Americans aged 18 and older spend more that 11 hours a day using electronic devices." Due to people relying too much on technology. There are both physical and mental health issues that cause a detriment to people. We’re starting to let technology run our lives.”

            People’s dependency of technology has numerous negative physical effects. With more use of technology, people are starting spend more time using electronic devices and technology than being active outside. This is causing an increase in obesity. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention states, “The percentage of children aged 6-11 years in the United States who were obese increased from 7% in 1980 to nearly 18% in 2012. Similarly, the percentage of adolescents aged 12-19 years who were obese increased from 5% to nearly 21% over the same period.” As technology continues to advance, so with the population of obese people. In this article Obesity Rates & Trends Overview by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, they indicate that obesity rates have more than doubles in the last 35 years and that the average American is more than 24 pounds heavier today than in 1960. (Paraphrase from an online magazine with no page number.)

 

            As society starts to become more and more dependent on technology, this generation of adolescents have grown up with always having technology around us to be dependent on. This causes this generation of kids to become addicted to technology and start to use it excessively. The excessive use of technology causes many negative mental conditions. Overuse of technology can change a child’s brain. An article in Psychology Today states that the use of technology can alter the wiring of the brain. However, people may argue that adults today do not have any harsh long-term effects from becoming dependent on technology, this current generation of children and teenagers are the first generation of a community that has been born and raised by technology. A summary of an article in Psychology Today, they stated that more than a third of children under the age of two use some form of mobile media. According to a report from Common Sense Media released a specific study that found 38% of kids under the age of two have used tablets or smart phones. The usage of mobile media only grows with the child’s age, with 97% of teens 12-17 spend time online. Technology does not give people new ideas on things, but technology trains the brain to pay attention to multiple stimuli, which leads to distraction or decreased memory. Technology also can affect a child’s brain by affecting his ability to empathize, which can also affect the general public. A study was conducted and later published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior. They took two groups of 6^th graders, one was sent to Pali Institute- an outdoor education camp with no electronic devices. For the second group, their life was normal-controlled. Researchers found that went to camp without any electronics scored significantly higher to reading facial emotions or non-verbal clues.

            People can argue that technology has made the economy better and safer. Small businesses can now used advanced internet marketing tools for a small budget in order to compete with big companies. However, Technology has put our privacy and safety at risk. Today, children who are using technology are way younger than they have been before and therefore they typically do not know what information is safe to share online and what is not. According to Enough-Is-Enough, 82% of online sex crimes against children, the sex offenders have used technology and social media to get information about their victim. The overdependence of technology has lead to an increase in online bullying. This is because technology is often not face-to-face; it is easier for the bully to attack someone online than in person. Statistics from NVEEE (National Voice for Equality Education and Enlightenment) explains that “One million children were harassed, threatened, or subjected to other forms of cyber bullying on Facebook in 2011.”

            People have pointed out that we use technology for communication. I agree that technology has its positive affects, such as being able to communicate with family or friends or to stay updated with current events. But us as people need to understand when it’s going too far. When we start becoming too dependant on technology, people become isolated. It is easy to become tempted and to isolate yourself from others, especially when technology is causing an illusion that you are communicating with people on sites like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, when you’re really not. In an article by Sheri Hosale in RooGirl Magazine website, Sheri Hosale states, “Technology creates the perfect recipe for depression with lack of human contact, overeating and lack of exercise. There is a reason the use of antidepressants are on the rise and the blame can’t be completely dumped on the pharmaceutical companies.” (Quotations from an online magazine with no page numbers.)

            Technology has advanced us as a race and will continue to do so. However, it is our responsibility to not abuse technology to the point where we are unable to function without it.  According to Bruce D. Perry, MD, PhD, senior fellow of CMTAS Initiative, “Modern technologies are very powerful because they rely on one of the most powerful genetic biases [us] have- the preference for visual presented information.” In his book, How Nurture Becomes Nature: The Influence of Social Structures on the Development of the Brain and Maltreated Children, Perry tells us, “Children need real-life experiences with real people to truly benefit from available technologies. Technologies should be used to enhance curriculum and experiences.” We need to learn and actively participate in social functions and outdoor physical activity. This would not only start to diminish our obesity rate, children would not be on any devices as much which will improve their mental health.  Lastly, we need to properly educate everyone on the proper and safe way to use technology.

Analysis of our articles and Spriggs essay

1.      The Sprigg’s essay is Sprigg’s forming and sharing her opinion on local grown organic produce. Her opinion was expressed that the advantages of locally owned farms outweigh the disadvantages. She then presented very picky counterarguments that counter argued her point so her position looked stronger.

2.      The second article we analyzed was about the legalization of marijuana in Colorado. The article was more pro legalization of marijuana because the data supports that highway fatalities have decreased since the legalization of marijuana. Some counterarguments that they made were that the anti-pot group, SAM pointed out that even before the first legal pot store opened in Washington State, the number of driver in that state testing positive for pot jumped by one-third.

3.      The last article we analyzed was the unrealistic nature of Photoshop and people to what we accept as “standard”. It was mainly against it due to the number of facts represented in the article. For example, from the 1990’s to now, due to photo shopping there has been an 119% increase in eating disorders for children 12 years and younger.

4.      The Sprigg’s essay and our analyzed articles differentiate due to lack of counterarguments in the positive and/or negative positions. The articles are more statistical-based, rather than the Sprigg’s essay which is more observational. However, the Sprigg’s essay and the analyzed articles are all similar in the way that they all have a very strong stance and position on their topic.   

Paper #3 position paper- topic and arguments

Position paper topic: Are people becoming too dependent on technology? 

My position: Yes, I believe people are becoming too dependent on technology. We rely on technology to keep us on time with our schedule, it helps us navigate places, it's helps us communicate, and it storages important information for us in a conscientious and orderly way. Most kids these days don't even know how to properly use a dictionary.

 Counter argument: technology has advanced us as a race and has brought us closer to people whom we were unable to contact before. It has made life easier for the economy, due to the stock market and cash registers that rely on technology to operate. 

Spriggs analysis questions

1. Yes, Katherine Spriggs has convinced me that the topic of growing and buying foods locally's advantaged out weight the disadvantages. She established her importance by relating her topic to world problems and how small things could impact the world globally in a very significant way. She also have many citations and references, which gave her a more powerful stance and showed that she worked and studied hard in this topic. 

2. Spriggs considers many counter arguments such as not having fruits during every season, she pointed out many global effects and how it will be bad for the nations economy. She responds by saying how we would cherish the fruits more when they are not available every season and that they will taste better growing in certain areas. Also, she argues that if the people of the United States would show their commitment on buying local, it could open up new conversations about environmentalism. Lastly, she argued that local farms hire local workers and brings profits to small rural communities. 

3. A selection of Spriggs essay that I found especially effective was the selection where she talk about global effects. I found this especially effective because she put it into a world perspective and thought very critically about what she said and I could tell she put a lot of thought into her thoughts and ideas she incorporated. 

4. Spriggs incorporated two photos that I thought were especially intruding. The photos of the small polyculture  farm and the other of the monoculture farm. I thought this was interesting because it put into perspective the difference between a small and big farm. 

"Two Sisters Tragic" summary

From the video about the Two Sister Tragic, it had an emotional appeal because in the first line it established that the video was about grief. Secondly, they establish an emotional aspect to it they always have the parents “red-faced” with tears with the dog and with clips from their childhood. This video also had a logical appeal because the bottom line is that drunk driving kills and promotes driving lessons and they provide free transportation to insure safe driving throughout teenagers. This video showed ethos through the use of the video clips of their childhood to show that these people are just average and normal people, and that this can happen to anyone.

The Last Text Summary

This video was about three young teenagers who got into tragic accidents because they were texting and driving. The story was told by each of the sisters in a different way, but they all explained that they went to a party and got drunk and then decided to text and drive. The two daughters died, and only the friend survived. They then started an organization that gives free rides to people who are incapacitated and cannot drive on their own. This video was designed to pull on the audiences’ heart strings and emotions. This makes them feel obligated or more pressured into doing or being persuaded of not driving while drunk.

How Things Mean

Symbols of Patriotism:

USA: Suggests High patriotism, strength and power. Firstly, they use the symbol of America which is of the highest patriotism. Secondly, the eagle itself looks as though it’s extremely stern portraying a position of power. Thirdly, the American flag is on the eagle itself further giving a sense of patriotism.

Great Britain: Suggests that Britain is powerful and stands out from other nations whilst still being humble. Firstly, the dog looks off into the distance but also looks as though it’s not going to back down, giving a sense of power. Secondly, they use a light colored dog, which gives a sense of innocence while maintaining the ferocity that the dog is.

France: Suggest that France is more about the people and their ethical standards. Firstly, there’s not representation of their flag. However their slogan is carved in stone which suggests that it’s ever lasting compared to the dog and eagle because they have a limited amount of time. Secondly, the picture shows a camera which is used for surveillance and that means they’re focused on their people.

Watches:

Rolex: Suggests that you are in a position of wealth and power. Firstly, it does this through the use of the name, “Rolex” in general because it’s an expensive brand. It tells that the person is in a financially stable enough point in their lives to splurge money on luxury items that they don’t necessarily need.

Hello Kitty: Suggests that it’s for the youth and something to temporary satisfy a person. Firstly, it does this because of the low quality that the watch is. Also it is a lot smaller and compact possibly symbolizing a less financially stable position. There’s also a picture of the “Hello Kitty” cartoon on it which again suggests that it’s for children and those less financially stable and something temporary. 

Argument 1: Between all the symbols of patriotism they all differ in their own way but all present the same general ideas of representing what their country stands for.

Argument 2: Between the two watches, one can infer that Rolex is for those who are financially stable and for those who are successful. Compared to Hello Kitty which is something that’s just temporary 

Reading Sources Critically

   Made the argument about double standards on when, how and if it’s appropriate between black people and white people. Our whole history has been written in double standards. The way teaching is currently handled when talking about classic texts that contain the word teaching can be taught in a non-racist way but as it is currently, that’s not happening. It’s not our job to help them reclaim the word, yet if we want to help we can, “march on the school boards, the police stations and health care”.

2.       I find the argument extremely persuasive. One reason for his argument is the word has been used as a slur and not in a friendly manner. Secondly we, white people, have to realize that there’s a history behind the word, it’s something that should be between black people. The one thing I disagree with is his use of a redneck example because there’s not nearly the significance behind it. He acknowledges the opposing arguments more than I would’ve thought of.

3.       It obvious that he doesn’t agree with white people using the n-word and that it should be left to black people and there isn’t nearly the emotional and historical impact on us as compared to them.

4.       Boston Colleges’ stance is of one that’s against the use of the word in general. Given the website there are many articles and discussions concerning the use of the word and professors on the topic.

5.       Compared to the speech from time wise, Boston College is still against it. However the college gives more historical context of the word. For example in another video they present the idea that the word was originally used to sell things like, “Nigger Clams”.

6.       This topic goes against what we think. We believe that the constitution presented to the people of America Freedom of Speech. It’s been around for a long time and yes people can use it as a slur but same can go for white people. So in reality we believe that people should try to make a disconnect between the word and a racial slur because it’s going to be around for a long time but it’s not necessarily bad.

7.       The intended audience is for everyone who have used the word or are around the word. This is his audience because they want people to acknowledge what they are using and the context behind it. His purpose is to have people aware of when, how and if it’s appropriate to the use the word and who is saying it. Even though it doesn’t affect you it affects others. He gave an example of him being from the south and jokes that are made about him but it’s not necessarily bad because the person making it is from the south so it’s okay. 

Page 66 In-Class Lab

Things I've taken positions on over the week:
1. What car to drive to school
2. What type of food to eat.
3. What time to leave for work.
4. What to write about for class.
5. What advertisements were most powerful for my essay
6. What tooth paste is best to use.
7. Where to eat for lunch with friends
8. Responding to classmates papers and their position.
9. Debate position: Pro vs. Con
Other peoples:
1. Outfit choices
2. When to eat
3. If it is okay to hit people

Page 66 in class lab:

Gun control memes:

https://llwproductions.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/meme-deer-shooting-back.jpg
This appeals to us because it is a funny way to say someones position. They used a joke, and a picture of a man everyone knows to make a meme about gun control. To support its position it asks a question, and then answers it with a punch line that delivers their stance. For a serious audience we would change it to saying "No one needs 30 rounds in their gun, because deer can not shoot back.". To change its medium we would switch the position and explain why so many rounds are needed.

https://stophittingyourbrother.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/gun-control-memes.jpg
On this website there are two different memes that have two different positions. The fist one has a quote from Ronald Reagan saying how he feels about guns. He said that it was okay to have guns for self defense but a machine gun is too much and no one really needs one in their home. The second meme has the word guns repeated several times next to phases that represent what we use to defend things like our homes and president. At the bottom it reads "We defend our children with a sign that reads 'this is a GUN FREE ZONE'". The quote from a historic person works because people trust his opinion and they logically can follow what he says. The second meme speaks to peoples emotions because their children or niece is not being protected while at school or in certain environments. To change them we would make them either appeal to someones comedic genre or have them be more serious depending on the audience.

http://www.quickmeme.com/img/5d/5d3a151b7d0d3b9e0bf5fd0f87d5023c63d74801655090fcf02f5579247c51f1.jpg
This memes is a picture of a man trying not to laugh while pretending to think. Around him it says "That Facebook post really make me think about my stance on gun control, said no one ever".  This appeals to us because it is funny and relatable. Really it means that it is hard to sway peoples opinions, but when you're on Facebook and something about gun control comes up you kind of laugh and scroll past. The thing we would change is maybe using a picture of someone we know. We would change the content to change the medium. We would make the meme have a position on gun control itself.

Bibliography:
Michelle. Cartoon. Motley News, 6 April. 2013.
Sallah. Cartoon. Stop Hitting Your Brother. 31 January. 2013
Quick Memes. Cartoon. Quick meme.com.

Taking Stock Questions

1. When I first started to analyze my ads, I did research on the history of the ad and how it came to be, so I could develop my own stance on the subject. I then continued to use the Old Spice YouTube videos as a resource and began to write out the draft of my essay. I found that peer revision helped me and doing my own background research first to plan accordingly.
2. When I first started to draft my essay, I put all my thoughts down on paper into a chart to organize it, and then began to write. After my first draft was complete, I had two or three of my peers revise my essay and give me feedback while I did the same to their essays. I then took that feedback and incorporated what I thought was necessary in my essay and began my second draft. 
3. I organized my essay very nicely. I took the time to make sure all my thoughts were explained thoroughly and where it fits best in my essay. If I could do something to change my essay, I would of gone more in depth about the YouTube videos and what content was incorporated in it and for what persuasive reasons.
4. Yes, I provided evidence in my text pertains to my essay and I incorporated quotes.
5. I think i did well at explaining my stance on Old Spice advertising. I then went further in depth with examples and evidence that supports my thoughts and ideas.
6. I want to improve on more complex sentence structuring and focus on using more sensory words to spice up my work.
7. Yes, I used two pictures that contrasted persuasive advertising strategies. I believe that they added more clarity to what I was talking about, and was more engaging because of a visual.
8. When I peer reviewed others essays, I found out that I was liking and comparing their thesis and conclusion with my own and I was becoming more aware of what idea they were trying to portray in their essay. This influenced my writing because Im becoming more aware of not the physical words on the paper, but the emotion and stance behind that.
9. If I could go back and do something differently, I would have developed and incorporated my thesis sentence into the body of my essay more.
10. I am very pleased with my analysis. This taught me that the technique of advertising evolves alongside of society.
11. Some transferable skills that I learned that I can take with me into other writing situations are your all-around point of view, emotion and stance on whatever your topic is.

 

 

 

Drafting for Second paper

Thesis: Old Spice appeals to a very diverse group of people by marketing their product in out-of-the-box ideas.

Evidence: For all ads:

 Old Spice Website

Wieden + Kennedy

Old Spice Nature Adventure

Sources:

https://www.youtube.com/user/OldSpice

https://www.pg.com/en_US/downloads/innovation/factsheet_OldSpice.pdf

http://oldspice.com/en/videos/old-spice-smell-like-a-man

https://www.wk.com/office/portland/client/old_spice

Opening: Companies use advertisements to inform and/or persuade consumers into purchasing their product. There are hundreds of ways to advertise a product. Advertisements can be as small as social media sponsored ad posts to Super Bowl Sunday television commercials. In 2010, Weiden + Kennedy advertisement agency created an ad that shocked the marketing world and changed Old Spice advertisements forever. Old Spice appeals to a very diverse group of people by marketing their products in multiple ways by engaging and appealing a different target audience with each “Old Spice man” and through their individuality, and time management. This sets Old Spice apart from other advertising companies.

Paper #2 first draft

            Companies use advertisements to inform and/or persuade consumers into purchasing their product. There are hundreds of ways to advertise a product. Advertisements can be as small as social media sponsored ad posts to Super Bowl Sunday television commercials. In 2010, Weiden + Kennedy advertisement agency created an ad that shocked the marketing world and changed Old Spice advertisements forever. Old Spice appeals to a very diverse group of people by marketing their products in multiple ways by engaging and appealing a different target audience with each “Old Spice man” and through their individuality, and time management. This sets Old Spice apart from other advertising companies.

Figure 1.1

            If you look at figure 1.1 (above on the left) this advertisement campaign “Smell like a man, man” was first launched prior to the Super Bowl in February, 2010. This is when Old Spice developed their new advertisement strategies and brand characters which later received the industry’s highest honor, the Cannes Lions Film Grand Prix, where the judges noted it “overnight wove its way into popular culture” and was nominated for an Emmy. One of their newest brand characters, Isaiah Mustafa is a handsome, former NFL wide receiver who possesses a comedic sense of humor. In today’s society, most advertisements are about how that product they are selling can improve yourself in one way or another. This still picture of the video advertisement is an example of just that. They put a very handsome and muscular in the ad to draw attention and for that person to be the “incentive” on “what they can look like if they use this product.” The picture also is taking place on a sunny day at the beach, making the picture look very appealing and relaxing to you. Finally, the center of the photo is the product- Old Spice deodorant.  This video starts out with Isaiah shirtless and in the shower. Isaiah then begins with “Hello ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back to your man, now back to me.” In the first 5 seconds of the video, it has already established their target audience- women. Old Spice uses a sexual appeal by using an attractive man with a nice muscular body because that is what most women find appealing. Now that they have their consumer hooked, Isaiah says “Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using lady-scented body wash and switched to Old Spice he could smell like he was me.”  This is persuading the consumers to buy their product because if “their man” uses Old Spice, then they will smell more attractive, ultimately giving the impression that they will become more attractive.

            Weiden and Kennedy then began to get creative. As the video continues as Isaiah says “Look down, back you. Where are you? You’re on a boat with a man that your man can small like.” Not only are they reiterating that your man can smell like him, but they grasps your attention because very bizarre and un-natural things are going on. They set themselves apart from others by thinking outside the box and being different. The video ends by the camera panning up and Isaiah riding a horse on the beach. He says, “Anything is possible if your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady- I’m on a horse.” They ended the advertisement this way because it opens the minds of the consumer and makes that advertisement stick with them.

            This advertisement also was very successful because they added onto their first ad with a sequel, which launched in early June. To further build excitement and buzz to the Old Spice campaign, they started to invite regular people to submit questions that will be answered personally by the “Old Spice Guy.” This was very successful because it further engaged the audience in a way that they felt important.  More than 2,000 people submitted questions in the first 48-hour period. The responses for the questions were viewed over 46 million times in the first 24 hours. Because of their “Small like a man, man” campaign launched, they have taken the social media side of it and used it to their advantage. Also, all Old Spice videos are under one minute. “It’s generally a good idea to keep things short on YouTube,” says Jason Bagley, creative director at Wieden + Kennedy. “People don’t generally want to sit through long things.”  Old Spice has nearly 105 million views of their campaign and has become the #1 most viewed sponsored YouTube channel.

            Figure 1.2

           

            In the Old Spice advertisements, they take advantage of people’s low confidence levels. They use Terry Crews – famous actor and football player- as the symbol of power. They’re using more of a powerful and muscular man for these ads. This again, appeals to a certain target audience- men. But more specifically, men who want to be more confidant and powerful. As seen above, Old Spice really thinks out of the box when it comes to their advertisement ideas. In figure 1.2, Terry’s head is opened up with its brain flying out- not very likely to actually happen, but is still very engaging. Also, Terry Crews is a very big and build man, which makes the viewer a little self-conscious about what they look like, opening up the doors to the idea of buying the product so you look like “that.” In the video, Terry Crews starts out shirtless in the bathroom saying, “Old Spice body spray will make you feel so powerful, it will blow your mind right in front of your face!” From the start. He gives you a clear and simple message of the product that is easy to remember. Then Terry’s head opens up and out comes his brain on jets. His brain then says, “Goodbye,” and explodes. This is very out of the ordinary, making it catch someone’s eye and stand out. Then the video ends with Terry stumbling on his words (he has no brain remember?) and in subtitles on the bottom of the advertisement it says, “What a powerful mistake I’ve made.” Then they close off in to their slogan, “Smell is Power.” This video advertisement is goofy, silly, and just plain odd- but that’s what works for Terry Crews and their target audience. By bringing out a child-like silliness to their advertisements, they can reach a larger range of people.